


Almost Sweet

by triplebang



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cousin Incest, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Humiliation, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Somnophilia, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, this is like kinda fucked up so maybe dont read it if you dont like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:25:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triplebang/pseuds/triplebang
Summary: Chris is like the older brother that Felix has never had, and when Felix learns that he's going to get to spend a whole two week vacation around him, he becomes excited to spend some quality time with his favorite cousin.





	Almost Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> you've read the tags, don't read this if you know this will make you uncomfortable. there's an additional warning that i'm not tagging due to spoilers, but if you're comfortable reading incest and dubcon, you'll most likely be fine with it.
> 
> once again this hasnt been properly proofread so excuse the mistakes
> 
> update: tagged this as rape, even though i didnt feel like it went much past dubcon, though a lot of people were complaining. and i take constructive criticism. sometimes i even listen to it

Felix is super excited for this family vacation. Once a year, everybody gathers and choses a place to go spend over the winter vacation to spend time as a family. Uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, everybody is there. Felix is particularly excited, because he’s going to get to see Chris again.

Chris is his super cool older cousin. Ever since they were young, they’d often hang out together and Chris would always treat Felix like one of the guys, the way Felix has always wanted to be treated. He was the first person that Felix has ever come out to as trans, which was when Felix was 12 and Chris was 15. Chris had absolutely no problem with it, and just shrugged it off before he turned around and started showing his new game that he got on his gaming console. They spent that night playing that shooting game against each other, and Felix kept losing terribly. Chris ruffled Felix’s his hair and told him to get good.

Felix had just turned 18 recently in September when he learned that he’s gonna get to see Chris again over the winter break. They don’t see each other too often ever since Chris has moved away a bit further, but they do see each other during birthdays or during holidays. However, getting to see him for 2 weeks straight? Now that’s cool. He can’t wait to bond with him properly again. Felix is an only child and he really enjoys his older cousin’s presence. He’s kind of like the older brother that Felix has never had.

So, when his parents and he finally arrive at the cottage that the family is renting in Iceland, quite far from his home back in Australia, the first thing Felix does is ask if Chris is here. Well, no, first he has to endure all of the kisses and hugs from his extended family, and his aunt, Chris’s mom, pinches his cheek and tells him that he’s grown so much since she’s last seen him.

“It’s only been a few months!” he exclaims, trying to swat her hand away. “You always say that whenever you see me…”

She laughs and plants a kiss on his cheek. “Well, you’re always growing! You’re at that age where everything changes so rapidly,” she coos. “Chris is upstairs. He suggested that you two share a room together, since we all know that you guys love hanging around each other so much. It’s unfortunate that you don’t get to see each other more often, I know how much you enjoy each other’s presence.”

Felix beams at that. Sharing a room with Chris? That’s amazing. He looks forward to all of the stupid late night talks that they can have each other. It’s going to be great. “Thank you,” he says. “I’m gonna go see him now!” And with that he bolts upstairs with his luggage in hands.

He realizes that he didn’t even ask which room it was, but it doesn’t matter, because one of them is slightly open and has movement inside, so Felix figures it must be it. He slams the door open to make a dramatic entrance, but freaks out when he sees an unfamiliar head of hair in it. Chris is _not_ blonde. Except, when the head turns around and Felix is met with the look of surprise on the person’s familiar face, he realizes that Chris _is_ blonde. Or, he is now at least.

“Oh my god.” He drops his luggage on the floor and runs up to him, immediately throwing his arms around his cousin and tackling him to the bed.

“Whoah,” Chris starts trying to say something, but the wind is knocked out of him when Felix lands on top. “Jesus Christ, Felix.”

Felix giggles and says, “You’re blonde! When did that happen? I didn’t even recognize you for a second, and I got embarrassed for barging in like that.” He gets up and helps Chris up as well, so that they’re both standing, and Chris is looking down at him as he rolls up the sleeves of the black turtleneck he’s wearing.

Felix takes in his appearance, and he has to admit that Chris looks good. Blonde hair, which he would have never expected on him, black turtleneck, gold chain around his neck, sleeves now rolled up, and dark pleated pants. Felix feels kind of childish in comparison, with his pink hoodie and ripped jeans. They look like they’re going to different events. Chris is about to go on a date at a fancy restaurant and Felix is about to hang out and eat junk food with his friends at a park.

“What the fuck?” is all Felix manages to say, and Chris raises an eyebrow at him. “Since when do you dress so well?” He asks. “And why are you blonde? What’s gotten into you? Are you already having a mid-life crisis of sorts?”

Chris just laughs at him and says, “No, I just started caring more about my looks recently, that’s all. I gotta look good and all, you know? The blonde wasn’t my idea though, a friend of mine convinced me to do it while I was drunk, but I don’t regret it.”

“I see,” Felix hums. “Who are you dressed to impress though? You planning on picking up Icelandic girls?”

Chris laughs again and says, “Nah, just for myself. I missed you.”

Felix softens up at those words and says, “I really missed you too. I’ve been looking forward to it so much! I never hear from you cause you never post on social media and you suck at answering texts,” he pouts.

“I mean I’ve offered to call, but you always say no. I’m just not a great texter.” Chris counters, pouting himself.

“Who the fuck _calls_ nowadays, grandpa. Whatever. I’m really glad to see you.” He wraps his arms around his cousin again, this time properly hugging him, and Chris does the same. Felix can’t help but notice how firm Chris’s muscles feel, but he refuses to make a comment on it, because he already knows Chris works out. Felix does too, but he’s been slacking a lot lately.

After they pull apart, Felix goes to pick up the luggage he picked up and places it near the bed, which there is only one of, but he doesn’t mind. It’s big enough and they’ve both already slept in one bed together before, plus they’re close enough that it’s not weird.

They joke around some more before finally deciding to go downstairs and to interact with the rest of their family. Felix observes Chris throughout all of the day, or whatever is left of it, because they got there pretty late, and Chris is all super smiley and charming and the entire family loves him. Some of their younger cousins and second cousins cling onto him, trying to get his attention, and Chris laughs warmly when he pulls them up into his arms and plays with them. It’s adorable.

They don’t do all that much besides waiting for everyone else to show up and eating supper, and soon enough it gets late, so they all bid each other goodnight, and Felix and Chris go up to their own room.

“So cool that we get to share this room together,” says Felix, plopping down and spreading his limbs all over the bed. “I can’t wait to hear about all of your juicy life gossip.”

Chris rolls his eyes and starts taking off his chain and turtleneck, chucking them on the dresser, and says, “There’s really not all that much going on. Unless you want to hear about how my university studies are going.”

Felix immediately scrunches his face up in disgust and says, “Ew, absolutely not. I’m here to forget the existence of school completely.”

After Chris chucks his pants off as well and starts rummaging through his luggage to find a simple black tee-shirt and joggers, he says, “Yeah, I don’t want to think about that either.” He puts the shirt and pants on then he tells Felix that he should change as well.

Felix groans. “But I’m already so… Comfy…” And Chris grabs him roughly by the arm to pull him up, making Felix whine, but also shocking him at how Chris didn’t hesitate at all to manhandle him.

“Don’t be a brat. Just get changed so that we can finally go to sleep,” he scolds sternly, and Felix rolls his eyes, but he sighs and does as Chris says.

When they turn off the lights and get comfortable underneath the covers, they joke around a bit and Felix tells Chris that he’s super popular with the kids, cause he’s so charming. Chris rolls his eyes and says, “You’d be charming too if you weren’t so antisocial and on your phone all the time.”

“My friend Jisung won’t stop sending me memes though. I can’t not look at them, dude. Have you seen the one with the walking tomato?” he asks, and when Chris gives him a confused look Felix let’s out a disappointed sigh. “Of course you haven’t. All you do online is reblog aesthetic posts on Tumblr.”

“So what? They look cool,” Chris shrugs, clearly unbothered.

Felix rolls his eyes at Chris again and says, “Alright, goodnight. We’re done here.” He then turns around, with his back facing his cousin.

“Okay then” says Chris.

And that’s that. Felix actually wants to talk a bit more, but he thinks that Chris is actually falling asleep next to him, so he doesn’t want to bother. He closes his eyes and slowly but surely let’s himself drift to sleep.

 

 

 

After a while of sleep, Felix has no idea how long of a while, because he’s actually barely conscious right now, and still half dreaming, he feels a body press up against his back and an arm getting thrown over his waist.

Oh, but that’s fine. Felix may barely be conscious, but he’s aware enough to know that it’s just Chris. They cuddle often enough, so this isn’t unusual. Chris starts softly petting the expanse of Felix’s stomach, almost as if he’s giving him tummy rubs, and it’s soothing enough that Felix almost falls back to sleep.

He doesn’t get to, though, because Chris is breathing right onto his neck, and the breathing gets a bit harder, which tickles. Felix thinks that it’s kind of weird, and it’s kind of hard to fall back asleep with how Chris is breathing, so he readjusts his head slightly, trying to move away.

Chris immediately halts his movements and stops breathing.

Felix… doesn’t know what to think of that. Why did Chris just stop so abruptly? Is it because he moved? A part of Felix feels like something is off. Why’s Chris afraid of getting caught rubbing his stomach? It’s confusing, and Felix doesn’t have enough energy to really think about it properly, so he just tries going back to sleep.

He’s unsuccessful, once again, because Chris goes back to what he was doing before, but this time his hand travels further, no longer just stopping at the stomach, but going up to his chest as well. The touch feels weird, but Felix is afraid to move again, because Chris clearly thinks he’s asleep and he’s suddenly too anxious to let him know that he’s awake.

So he lets the hand travel up and down, side to side, feeling him… rather too intimately. It takes all of Felix’s self-control to not move away when Chris’s hand slips underneath his shirt, now touching his bare skin. He feels it crawl across his abdomen, the soft touches leaving a burning sensation on Felix’s skin, but it feels nice.

It’s kind of really fucking weird though, because Felix is pretty sure that Chris has never touched him before like this. And even more so, he doesn’t think that it’s completely normal to touch somebody like this. Then again though, what does Felix know? He knows that he’d never touch one of his friends like this, because that would be a bit too sexually charged, but maybe Felix is overthinking it. How could this possibly be sexual? Chris is his cousin, that would be very gross, and there’s just _no_ way Chris would do something like this.

But then, Chris’s hand goes down and slips underneath Felix’s waist band slightly, grabbing onto his hip and rubbing circles into it. Felix tries so hard to not react to that, because he has to be asleep, but now it’s a bit harder because he’s actually starting to wake up, consciousness slowly flooding into his mind.

Chris’s hand stops rubbing circles and instead moves to flatten against his pelvis, and… Shit. There’s no way this isn’t sexual. But Felix is so confused. He wants to understand why Chris is touching him like this, he wants to understand why he feels so anxious about it, and he wants to understand what’s actually going on. He tries to reason with himself, and attempts to come up with a logical explanation, but he can’t really find one. Maybe Chris is doing this in his sleep. But wait, no, because if he was he wouldn’t have reacted so abruptly when Felix moved.

All thoughts of logic and reason fly right out of his head when Chris softly places his lips on the back of Felix’s neck and gives him a kiss. Then he nuzzles his nose against it and pants slightly, and if Felix’s face was visible, you could see that he turned a few shades of red darker. What the fuck.

Felix doesn’t even want to _think_ about what’s happening anymore. He just wants it to stop and wants to ignore any and all possibilities of this being sexual. But the breathing and the touches get to him, and he unfortunately feels himself start getting a bit wet, and he just cannot think straight at all and it’s upsetting him and he just wants Chris to _stop_ so that he doesn’t have to feel so weird, because he hates it.

The rest is kind of a blur to Felix though. He doesn’t think that Chris stops touching him, but it becomes bearable enough that he can fall back asleep. And he completely forgets all about it in the morning when he wakes up, and Chris is like a meter away from him, still sleeping.

 

 

 

The next day passes well, they all decide to go out and go explore the city, and it’s all super fun and Felix has a good time laughing around and bantering with his family, Chris included, and it’s not until later that day, when Chris puts a hand on Felix’s shoulder to lean in and ask him something, that Felix remembers what had happened.

Surely, he must have imagined that, right? Everything is completely normal, and there’s no signs of anything out of the ordinary on Chris’s face, so Felix figures it must have been some sort of fucked up dream. Very weird, and he doesn’t like the thought of his brain throwing sexual content of his _cousin,_ of all people, onto him like that, but oh well. Doesn’t mean anything. Minds work in mysterious ways.

It’s during the second night that Felix realizes that something is up. They joke around again like they did last night before going to sleep, and it’s a while later, way later, when Felix is almost asleep, that he feels Chris move again. His anxiety spikes when Chris places a hand on Felix’s waist and rubs it a bit, then he leans in real close and whispers, “Felix, are you awake?” And Felix for the life of him does not understand why he’s too afraid to just say, “Yes, I’m awake. Please stop touching me weirdly.” But then a thought comes to him and he thinks that even if he answers Chris and tells him that he’s awake, his cousin will probably wait until he’s actually asleep to start touching him again. The thought freaks him out. At least now he’s conscious for what Chris is going to do, but a part of him wonders if maybe it’d be better if he were just asleep.

Now, when Chris starts moving his hands again, Felix has to do his god damn best to keep his breathing steady and to not make any sound. He definitely can’t let it be known that he’s awake, because he’s already lied about being asleep. This time, though, Chris makes it a lot harder.

His hands move softly, but more assuredly, and he doesn’t press just one kiss onto the back of Felix’s neck, but does it repeatedly, and he even gives it a few licks, which send shivers down his spine when Chris pulls away and breathes onto the wetness. Felix has to bite down on his lip to not make any noise whatsoever.

Chris keeps going and keeps touching him, but then Felix almost chokes on his breath when he feels movement behind him, and realizes that Chris is using his other hand to touch himself. Like, maybe he’s imagining it, but he’s pretty sure that Chris is jacking himself off, if the repeated motions and the grunting is enough to go off of.

The touches on Felix’s body slow down a bit when he feels Chris speed up and feels the breathing against his neck get harder, and Felix understands that Chris is about to cum. When he does, Chris let’s out a long breath and a low groan, then kisses Felix’s neck again. He gets up and the younger boy understands that he’s probably going to clean his cum off, but holy fuck. Felix has a difficult time acknowledging that actually happened.

His face is all red and he realizes that he’s really wet now, but he can’t understand why Chris would do that. Is his cousin actually attracted to him? Or is he just so uncontrollably horny that anyone’s body will do? Either way, Felix can’t help but feel his image of Chris shift. No matter how he tries looking at it, it’s fucked up.

When Chris lies back down next to him, he throws a limp arm around Felix and just falls asleep, but the arm is _so_ much heavier now than it’s ever felt.

 

 

Now, when they’re both awake, when they’re interacting with family and going out and having a fun time, Felix just cannot look at Chris normally again. He watches the elder play with their younger cousins again, all smiles and laughter, but it just feels weird. Whenever he looks into Chris’s eyes, he doesn’t see the usual warmth in them anymore. The affection in them when he’s talking to anyone looks… fake.

Felix feels bad for feeling that way, though, because Chris could still very much be a good and genuine person, he just… Jacks off to touching his cousin in his sleep. Felix figures that nobody is perfect, and this must be what Chris’s flaw is. One hell of a flaw, but people are messed up sometimes, he guesses.

He just wonders how Chris is so good at pretending that he doesn’t do that, though. He’ll smile at Felix and look him in the eyes and ask him if he wants to try some of the salad and Felix will just awkwardly smile back and say, “Sure,” and it’s all normal. Which is so messed up. So much that Felix thinks that maybe he really _is_ dreaming it all up.

When Chris touches him again that night, it’s very real, though. Because Felix couldn’t fall asleep at all, way too anxious, so he knows this isn’t a dream. And this time Chris isn’t just using his hands to touch him, he pushes his crotch up against Felix’s hip and Felix can feel his undeniable erection pressing into him. He rocks against the younger like that and Felix just can’t keep his breathing steady, although he’s really trying.

Chris leans in and starts whispering in Felix’s ear, and Felix nearly fucking chokes. “Baby, you look so fucking good. When did you get so hot, hm? You’re so pretty, so innocent,” he’s panting into Felix ears as he tells him all of this, then he says, “So fucking innocent, I want to ruin you so bad. Fuck you so hard that you can’t walk, so hard that all you’ll be able to feel is my cock for days. And I’ll fuck you over and over again, so much that you won’t be able to think of doing anything else.”

Felix almost starts crying at the words. On one hand, he hates to admit it, but it’s incredibly arousing. He feels himself getting more and more turned on by the words and by Chris’s movements, and he’d be lying if he said that he’s completely repulsed by it. On the other hand, it’s so fucking inappropriate and fucked up and not okay at all. Chris shouldn’t be thinking of Felix in that way. They’re cousins. Felix sees him as an older brother. He looks up to him and admires him but now… Now Chris is telling him all of these dirty things while he thinks that Felix is asleep, and it shows that he’s really not who Felix thought he was.

Chris stops moving for a bit, which confuses Felix, but then he feels him slipping both of their pants lower, and Felix freaks out when he feels his own underwear come off just a bit. He almost starts panicking, but then he feels Chris press his dick against Felix’s bare hip, and he feels him start rubbing himself against it. The elder groans and presses his forehead against the side of Felix’s head, and his breath falls against the younger’s cheek. Felix can’t even deny that he’s turned on at this point, but he feels so dirty. He feels so… used. And he knows that this is wrong.

Chris keeps going and keeps repeating things, telling Felix that he’s beautiful, that he’s so hot, that he wants to push his dick inside of him. He picks up the pace and grabs onto Felix’s arm a bit too roughly, and Felix can feel his dick twitching when he finally cums right on Felix’s hip and lower stomach. Felix shivers at the sensation, and Chris breathes roughly a few more times before he finally pulls away. He can hear him moving and coming back to wipe off the cum with a tissue, then he leans down and presses a kiss against Felix’s pelvis, which almost makes Felix jolt. He wasn’t aware of how sensitive that area was.

After pulling up the younger’s underwear and pants, Chris lies back down and presumably falls asleep shortly. Felix is wet and horny now, though, and he has no idea how he’s even going to look at his cousin tomorrow.

 

 

 

He doesn’t look at him. That’s how he deals with it. Any time Chris comes around, Felix makes an excuse to go somewhere else. He completely avoids eye contact and avoids sitting near him, and he knows that it’s not very subtle. He knows that Chris is going to catch onto the fact that something is wrong, but what else can he do? He can’t even _think_ about Chris without immediately feeling his face heat up, in both shame but also arousal.

And Felix knows when Chris finally figures out that something is wrong when he pulls the younger aside and asks him, “Are you alright?” Something that almost seems like genuine concern is written all over his face, but Felix can’t help but wonder if Chris actually knows and is just taunting him. He seems so concerned, though…

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” he asks, playing dumb.

Chris frowns, clearly not buying it. “You just seem kind of distant, is there something bothering you? You’re here to relax and have a good time, but you seem tense.” He brings a hand up to rub Felix’s shoulder, but Felix can’t stop himself from having other thoughts.

“No, I’m really okay. I don’t know. I just had a weird dream, is all,” he lies, and finally looks up into Chris’s eyes to try convincing him. There’s a look on them that Felix can’t discern, but it sends chills through him.

Chris bites his lip and says, “Alright. Well, if you need anything, then you know I’m here, yeah?”

“Yeah,” replies Felix. Then his brain tells him to say something like, “I need you to touch me again,” but Felix immediately tries to whack the thought right out of his head. That’s a no, a big no. He can’t start thinking about that, because it’s _wrong_. How many times is Felix going to have to tell himself that this is wrong and gross?

Maybe it’s just because Felix has never been touched like that before, and he _is_ a very horny individual. His brain is probably getting all mixed up and thinking that he wants Chris to touch him, but it’s actually not Chris, right? He just wants to be touched in general. He is definitely in no way attracted to Chris. Like, it’s not his fault that the elder is doing that to him. How’s Felix supposed to _not_ have any sexual thoughts about his cousin?

And Felix hates it, but he finds himself getting excited to go to bed. He can’t wait to have Chris’s firm hands on him again, touching him and making him wet. He wonders what Chris will do tonight, if it’s going to be the same thing or if he’s going to do something new.

He catches himself having those thoughts and cuts them off. He can’t have them. He can’t start thinking about Chris’s dirty words and his promises to fuck Felix, but by trying to not think about it, he thinks about it even more. He’s currently sitting down, eating supper, and he has to squeeze his thighs together to find some sort of relief for his arousal. He hates this.

He hates how eager he seems to go to bed tonight, how he just willingly gets changed and lies down without any bickering whatsoever with Chris, and he doesn’t even bother joking around anymore, he just says, “Alright, I’m very sleepy so goodnight.”

Chris looks at him with his eyebrows raised and says, “Okay, goodnight then. I hope you feel less tense tomorrow when you wake up.”

Felix doubts he will, but he says, “I’m actually alright, but thank you.”

He lays there, motionless, for a long time before he finally feels Chris start to move. He subtly let’s out a breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding in, but he’s surprised when Chris just crawls on top of him, pushing Felix onto his back.

He starts off by caressing Felix’s cheek, and for the first time, he leans down and presses a kiss against his mouth. He feels Chris move back up, and after a few seconds he leans down and kisses him some more. He then starts massaging Felix’s lips with his own, and deepening the kiss, and Felix really wish that he could respond to it, but he has to pretend to be asleep right now. He wonders if Chris would stop if he knew that he was awake.

Chris then starts moving his hands underneath Felix’s shirt, running them down his sides all while still kissing him, and he starts grinding down against Felix’s hips, and the younger can _feel_ his pussy getting wetter by the second. And when Chris slips his hand passed Felix’s waistband and starts feeling his inner thighs, Felix whimpers a little bit. He panics, because he thinks that he’s been found out, but Chris doesn’t react whatsoever and just keeps going, so the younger relaxes a bit.

After a while, Chris’s hand presses against Felix’s crotch through his underwear, and Felix gasps.

“How long are you going to keep pretending that you’re asleep?” asks Chris, voice low and cocky.

Felix feels cold fear run down his body, so cold that he freezes. He keeps his eyes shut and doesn’t move a muscle, because he doesn’t know what to do or say. He can’t believe that Chris knew he was awake though, and that makes him feel so embarrassed, because now it almost seems as though Felix was letting him do it because he _likes_ it, or something.

And yeah, maybe he does now, but he still wants Chris to stop. He doesn’t _want_ to like it.

“You’re not going to answer me?” he says, voice seeming confused, but Felix knows he’s not. “Okay, then. Let’s keep playing.”

The younger gasps again when Chris starts rubbing his pussy thought his underwear, his touch getting much more firm and sensual, and Felix really can’t help himself when he moans. He has no choice but to open his eyes now, and thankfully it’s dark enough that he’s a bit less embarrassed, almost as if the darkness would cover up his shame, or something equally as stupid.

Chris laughs and leans in. It’s dark, but he’s close enough that Felix can see how the elder’s eyes are staring right at him, right through him. His expression is not one that Felix has ever seen before, and it almost scares him because of how unusual it is.

“How long were you gonna keep acting, baby? You really thought I didn’t know you were awake?” he teases, a condescending tone in his voice.

Felix whimpers and tries to look away, but Chris reaches up and grabs onto his chin, moving him back so that he has to look at him. “H-how did you know I was awake?” Felix asks weakly, trying to move his pupils to look at the side of Chris’s face, or above his head. Anywhere to avoid his eyes.

“Hm? I know what a sleeping body’s like. You don’t feel like one,” he answers simply. Felix has to take a second to ask himself what the _fuck_ Chris means by that. Don’t feel like a sleeping body? Chris knows what sleeping bodies feel like? How often does he do this kind of thing? Who does he do it to? Has he done this to Felix before? There are so many fucking questions, but Felix’s thoughts get cut off when Chris leans down to kiss him again.

The younger tries to push him away, because now that he’s awake he can finally let Chris know that this is really wrong. So he tries, but any words that he attempts to pronounce get muffled by Chris’s lips, and then his tongue, and Felix gasps at the wet sliminess of it. Chris starts licking into his mouth, and as gross as it feels, Felix can’t help but feel aroused by it, bucking his hips up just a bit to get some relief for his arousal. The elder notices and smirks, then he kisses Felix’s jaw and pulls away.

“You like this?” he asks, riding the younger boy’s shirt up to pet his stomach. Felix attempts to squirm away, but Chris has got him firmly in place when he presses his weight down against his lower half. “Answer me,” he commands.

“No,” Felix says. “Please stop, Chris. This is awful and messed up and you really shouldn’t be doing this kind of thing and you should know that it’s wrong,” he stutters throughout his sentence, making himself seem much less confident, and he curses internally.

“Yeah, is it? That’s hot, though,” he states plainly, and Felix widens his eyes. Hot? Chris thinks it’s _hot_? What the fuck is wrong with him?

“No, it’s not,” he tries to argue and tries to push his cousin away, but Chris grabs onto his wrists and pins him down.

“If you don’t think this is hot, why are you getting so wet?” he asks slyly. “Are you just that desperate to get fucked, huh? So desperate that you’d let your cousin touch you like this? Would you let me fuck you, Felix? Is that what you want? It’s what your slutty body seems to be asking for…” He thrusts his hips against Felix’s crotch, and Felix feels his erection rub against him through their pants, and a part of him wants to feel it without them.

“N-no… that’s not… this isn’t…” He can’t find the right words to say, his mind turning into useless mush. He groans in frustration, because he doesn’t know what to say and, even more so, he doesn’t know what he actually wants.

“Let me take care of you, baby. I know you don’t know what you’re doing, but I do. I can make you feel real good, alright? Stop trying to squirm away,” he says and pauses. “Or do, cause that’s hot too I guess,” he adds.

Felix screws his eyes shut in embarrassment, because his body feels so hot and maybe he’s really about to let Chris do whatever he wants. It’s not like the elder really seems like he’s going to stop either way… so. He might as well enjoy himself.

He can’t just fully push away his shame though. He hates it. He hates that he’ll never be able to look at Chris normally ever again, that their relationship is basically ruined, that Felix himself feels like he’s being ruined, but that’s exactly what Chris wanted, right?

As if on cue, Chris says, “I can’t wait to ruin you. Make you cum on my cock, over and over again.” Felix moans at the words, because they unfortunately do something to him, and he raises his hips to get some friction against his pussy. Chris pushes his own hips back, and it feels so _good._ “That desperate for it, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you real good.”

Chris gets off of Felix to pull the younger’s pants and underwear down, all at once, and then he shoves his own down and throws it off of the bed somewhere. He goes back to Felix and says, “Spread your legs open baby, I want to see it.” And Felix flushes even more, because he doesn’t want to feel so exposed. Nobody has ever looked at him down there, and it’s even more embarrassing because he’s a guy, and guys usually have dicks.

It’s not like Chris doesn’t already know he has a pussy, but it’s humiliating and anxiety inducing all the same. And when Felix keeps his legs squeezed shut, Chris sighs and firmly places his hands on Felix’s knees, then forcefully spreads them apart.

“Fuck,” he curses to himself. “You’re so hot. Your pussy is so pretty.” He brings a hand down and swipes his thumb across the slit, and Felix’s thighs clench at the touch. His thumb drags up and stops near his clit, then he repeats the motion, and Felix starts breathing heavily, cause it’s good but it’s not enough.

Eventually, Chris stops at the clit and starts rubbing circles around it, playing with it and even grabbing onto it a bit, which makes Felix hiss. “You know,” the elder starts, still playing with him, “I’ve always wondered what your pussy looked like. I heard that trans guys have huge clits, and wow. It almost looks like a tiny penis,” he laughs slightly, and Felix hates it so much, he feels like he’s being made fun of.

He tries to swat Chris’s hand away out of irritation, but then the elder quickly slips a finger inside of him, making Felix stop and gasp. “Fuck,” Felix curses, because he wasn’t expecting that at all, and it kind of hurts with how abruptly Chris shoved it in. He’s fingered himself in the past, of course, but Chris’s finger is so much bigger than his, and it feels so different.

“Shit, you’re so fucking wet. So eager,” the elder coos, and starts moving the finger in and out, curling it inside of him. Felix groans. It feels weird, but not bad. Then, when Chris slips another finger in and starts fingering him open, Felix throws his head back and whines a bit too loudly.

“Felix, you have to be quiet,” says Chris, not slowing down with his movements at all. “Do you want your parents to hear you? How would they feel if they heard their own son moaning like that? What would they think if they knew you were such a slut for your cousin?” His fingers relentlessly fuck into him, and the squelching sound they make in Felix’s pussy is obscene, but all of it only makes Felix hornier, and he has to bite down on his lip to not make any more sounds.

Felix starts to shake when Chris inserts a third finger, stretching his pussy open more than it’s ever been stretched before, and it burns a little, but the feeling is addicting. His pleasure starts building up, and Felix doesn’t even think when he brings a hand down to rub against his clit, but Chris immediately pulls his fingers out. Felix whines in disappointment, and Chris wipes his fingers against the inside of the younger’s thigh, getting the stickiness off of himself.

“Be patient, babe. I haven’t even put my dick in you,” he shames, and Felix whimpers slightly, squeezing his thighs together again in anticipation while Chris starts stroking himself. The elder grabs onto one of his legs and spreads him open again, and this time Felix doesn’t resist.

Felix feels his dick start rubbing against his slit slowly, covering it in Felix’s slick. The younger grabs onto the bed sheets as he waits for Chris to finally push in, but it’s taking an awfully long time, and Chris just keeps staring at his pussy rather then finally fucking him. “Please,” Felix whines, and his cousin finally looks up to him, lips spreading into a cocky grin.

“What’s that?” he asks, rubbing his dick even slower now, and Felix has to bite his lip in frustration. “What are you asking for? You’re gonna have to tell me.”

Felix sighs and swallows his pride, then he mumbles, “Please, put your dick in me.” It’s not a smooth delivery, and his voice is shaky and high pitched, which is kind of really embarrassing, but Chris seems satisfied, so he finally pushes the head of his cock inside of him.

The younger inhales sharply, not used to the feeling at all. Chris’s fingers are completely different from his dick. He’s only just pushed the head in but it feels like _so much_. And when he pushes in further Felix has to throw a hand over his mouth to muffle the embarrassing noises he’s making, though Chris grabs it away from him as soon as he’s abruptly pushed himself in to the hilt, which is incidentally when Felix actually yelps.

Chris grins at him wildly and Felix turns his head to the side in shame, well aware that he’s being too loud, but he just wasn’t expecting it. “Oh, so you actually _want_ them to hear you? Do you get off to that?”

“N-no,” Felix protests weakly, but it doesn’t sound convincing at all when Chris starts thrusting in, making Felix let out a high pitched and drawn out whine. “Chris,” he pants.

“What is it, baby? Feel good?” the elder asks, grabbing underneath one of Felix’s legs and pushing it up, allowing him to thrust into the younger even deeper.

Felix brings his hands to wrap around Chris’s back and starts digging his nails into it, making Chris hiss. “It feels weird,” Felix slurs.

“You’ll start feeling good real soon, trust me.” He leans down and presses a kiss on the younger’s forehead, the action seeming intimate, and almost loving. But then he pulls back up and starts thrusting harder, grunting at the feeling of Felix’s pussy clenching around him.

Felix thinks that if anyone were to walk past their room, they’d definitely know what’s going on. The bed is squeaking slightly, Chris is grunting lowly, Felix can’t for the life of him stop the tiny sounds escaping his mouth, and the sound of their skin slapping is undeniable proof of the fact that Felix is getting absolutely fucked.

He starts feeling good, though. It still kind of burns, but the feeling becomes more bearable and more pleasurable, eventually. Felix looks up at Chris, and his hair is sticking to his forehead, his eyes are half-lidded, his eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s biting his lip in concentration, and for the first time ever, the younger admits to himself that Chris is _hot_.

Of course he’s thought it before, fuck. Especially after seeing him dressed all good like that, with his hair blonde, and stupid attractive face. But how could he have possibly accepted the fact that Chris is hot. That’s fucking weird. Felix does not _want_ to want to fuck his cousin. But here he is anyway, with Chris’s dick slipping right in and out of him, pounding into him at a rapid pace, stretching his pussy wide open, and it feels great.

Felix thinks that Chris notices his change in reactions, and he takes his dick out of him to lie down on the bed. Felix looks at him for a second, confused, before the elder pats his lap and says, “Ride me.” And Felix is incredibly horny, and he wants to feel Chris’s dick filling him up again, so how can he say no?

He gets on top and grabs the length to position it, then slowly lowers himself onto it, going down until he’s sitting down on Chris. He sighs through his nose at the feeling, and Chris thrusts up to get Felix moving, and Felix unwillingly moans again, but he’s starting to care less and less, much more preoccupied with getting Chris’s dick to rub inside of him, making him feel good, bringing him closer to his orgasm.

He lifts his hips right as Chris pulls out a bit, and slams them back down when he thrusts back up. They work out a steady pace, and Felix places his hands on Chris’s chest as he bounces on his cock. He momentarily grinds down a bit and stops moving just so that he can circle his hips, wanting to feel the dick move around inside of him.

When Felix starts bouncing again, he brings a hand down to his clit, and this time Chris doesn’t stop him as he starts rubbing himself to his orgasm. The elder starts thrusting in harder, and Felix falls limp against his chest, solely focused on getting himself off, and then he cums, squeezing around Chris’s cock and shaking, biting onto the elder’s neck to stop himself from moaning way too loudly.

Chris doesn’t stop there, though, he grabs onto Felix’s waist and turns them around, so that Felix is on his back again. He brings himself down to lie on top of Felix and to grab the back of his head by the hair, angling his head so that he has access to the younger’s neck. He kisses his throat and starts biting and licking it all over, probably leaving all sorts of marks, and in the moment Felix thinks it’s _really_ hot.

“You’re so fucking good, Felix, so good,” he praises, and Felix moans both at the words and at the dick still moving inside of him, making him shiver in oversensitivity. “You ride me better than my girlfriend does.”

Felix freezes. Chris has a girlfriend? What?

All of a sudden, it’s like reality hits Felix in the face, and it does so _hard_.

Felix is getting fucked by his cousin. His cousin who apparently has a girlfriend. Chris is cheating on his girlfriend with him, and his image of the elder tarnishes that much more. He thinks of Chris’s smiles, his caring actions, his laughter and his stupid jokes. He thinks about how much Felix’s mother loves Chris, how much she respects him and encourages Felix to follow his lead, to do well in school and to be as polite and respectful.

Now he knows that the Chris they all know love and care for is fake. The real one touches people in their sleep, cheats on his girlfriend, and fucks his cousin. The real one also gets off to doing things that he knows are immoral. And Felix starts crying. It’s probably because his heart is breaking, because this Chris killed the person that he knew and loved so much, but also because his body is going through so much right now, and his pussy switches from feeling oversensitive to feeling good again. Felix feels horrible because he just wants to cum another time.

Before he can reach his second orgasm, Chris slows down and whispers, “Gonna shoot my cum inside of you baby. Gonna fill you up so good, I know you’re gonna love the feeling.” Felix shakes and feels Chris’s pace falter before he buries himself inside and releases his load. Sure enough, Felix does love the feeling. He feels full and warm and so _good_ , but then Chris pulls out and he whines at the loss.

The elder sits back and spreads his pussy lips open, and Felix feels Chris’s cum leak out of him. “So good, so hot. Do you want me to finger you again?” asks the blonde, and Felix nods his head yes. “Beg for it.”

Felix moans and bucks his hips up. “Please, Chris. Please finger me. I really want to cum again, please make my pussy feel good, I love your fingers so much. Not as much as I love your cock, but I’ll take anything. Please, please please,” he whines desperately.

Chris groans and says, “You’re going to make me hard again.” He slips three fingers into Felix at once, and starts roughly finger fucking him. His other hand goes to rub his clit, and both of the motions have Felix grasping at the sheets and desperately lifting his hips into the air, trying to get as much friction as possible. He can hear the squelching of the cum inside of him, and feels it leaking out because of his fingers thrusting in and out of his pussy, and he cums just like that, eyes rolling back and tears dry on his face, violently shaking again and choking on a pained moan.

Chris pulls out slowly and Felix’s hips fall against the bed again. His breathing is labored and he’s still experiencing the aftershocks of his orgasm. Felix squeezes his legs shut and curls his toes, brings his hands up to cover his face in shame.

This is disgusting. He’s disgusting. He really just came twice because of Chris. He really fucking enjoyed himself. He moves his hands away to look at Chris, and he actually thinks his cousin looks hot.

Horrible, disgusting, immoral, cheating, lying, manipulative, fucking bastard Chris looks hot.

Chris looks at Felix, eyes full of an emotion that Felix has never seen before. It’s something like arousal, something like pride, and something _very_ mocking. “You look so angry, baby? What’s wrong? It seemed like you enjoyed yourself.”

Felix doesn’t even have the energy to answer him. Chris’s stare burns into Felix’s flesh, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. All he knows is that he feels an overwhelming emptiness in his chest.

He can’t even be mad anymore, he liked it. He can’t be sad either, because Felix had no right to like it. He definitely can’t be happy, because cousins shouldn’t fucking date and be in love. His mind can’t think of any other emotions that exist. Maybe he’s jealous. Jealous because Chris is all hot and perfect, and some random girl that he’s never even heard of before can have him, and he can’t. Even though he’s known Chris for longer, even though they have history together, even though Chris said that Felix rides him better than that girl.

Fuck. He’s so stupid. This is so stupid. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, and tears spill down the corners of his eyes again. Chris crawls over him and coos. “Aw, baby, don’t cry. It’s alright.” It’s definitely not all right. None of this is right.

But Felix doesn’t get to say anything, doesn’t get to protest anymore, as Chris leans down and kisses him gently, cupping his face. It almost tastes sweet. Felix lets it happen, and he savors it, because this is the most he’s ever going to get.

**Author's Note:**

> shrugs.
> 
> leave comments, i like them. you can call me horrible or whatever if you want but you know, not gonna change anything.


End file.
